10days. 10fuckingdays.

I cant believe it. I have all these emotions going through me right now which is why I think I am now starting to take in the negative feedback. but i know why I am doing this, and it is for all the right reasons. It wont be easy, at all. I know this. But everything that is going to happen in the next few months will all be worth it when I am finally healthy.

I think I am also nervous because I am used to things never working out in my favor, and this has been an amzing journey. through all the the tears, sweat, and hard work I am finally making a change for myself, for the better. I am just not used to this good feeling I have. This feealing of content. This feeling of hope. I can finally say I am doing comethin right for myself.

Having this blog has helped me so much because all of you inspire me. Every day. And now im starting to inspire myself.

Anonymous asked: If you're losing weight on your own, why are you getting surgery?

It took me 4 years to lose this weight. Though this isnt an excuse, I was born without a thyroid, which causes me to pretty much have no metabolism.I have been obese since I was 10 years old because of this. I wasnt the typical obese child that had horrible parents who just fed me fast food. No they made a very healthy lifestyle for me and my siblings growing up but I still gained weight.  And after all these diets, and new found comorbidities (sleep apnea, pre-diabetes, high cholesterol, depression, etc) I decided this surgery was the best for me and my future. I want to live, and not hate myself for something I really havent had any control of my whole life.

Also you are required to lose weight prior to surgery in the program I am in so it is easier for them to operate on me which has helped me lose the 30 pounds in the first place. And the only reason why It was stuck is because I have been my own hitler on this diet.

Youre not the first person to ask me this, and you defintley wont be the last. But I just want you to know that Im have this surgery for good reasons. Not to just be skinny, but HEALTHY, for the first time ever in my life. I will finally have contol over my own body.

i know how cheesy it sounds when you hear about how good this year will be for everyone, and how may changes they are going to make in this new year, and how this year will be so much better than the last. you really just want to say shutthefuckuppp , but this year is different for me. I am those annoying statuses you see. 2012 is my year.

No more obesity, no more people pleasing, no more anger, MORE healthy living, hiking, running, exploring, loving, happiness.

squatsandspinach asked: Wow, congrats on already losing so much weight, you look incredible! Keep going! :)

thank you so much! having this blog and reading all of these other weight loss blogs has helped me so much